Top 10 ways to care for someone with dementia at home

Caring for someone with dementia at home can be incredibly challenging, particularly if you are unsure about what to do in certain situations.

Although life may not be too different during the early stages, looking after a spouse or parent with dementia can quickly become overwhelming as the illness progresses.

To best support your loved one with dementia, it is important to understand the condition, how to care for them and in what ways you can make life easier for both them and you.

Looking after a family member with dementia takes both a physical and a mental toll. Changes in behaviour can be particularly stressful, but there are ways to help you manage better.

Due to the nature of the disease, it’s likely that you’ll be caring for your loved one for a while and it is important to maintain your ability to care for them long term.

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Below are 10 ways and tips for caring for someone with dementia at home to help you enhance the quality of life for your loved one but also to help you to better manage day-to-day life.

Understand the dementia

When your family member gets diagnosed with dementia, it is natural to feel overwhelmed and a part of it can often be because you do not know much about it.

The first thing to do is to learn about the type of dementia your loved one has and dementia in general. Although dementia affects people in different ways and each person will experience it differently, the more you know about the disease the better you can prepare for the challenges ahead.

In general, all types of dementia will cause a decline in cognitive health, memory loss and the ability to communicate. But there are differences, so try to learn as much as possible about the specific type of dementia your loved one has, such as Alzheimer’s disease or alcohol-induced dementia.

Being familiar with the dementia can help you with expectations and planning for the future. However, it is important to remember that things can change on a daily basis, so take each day as it comes.

Make your home dementia-friendly

One of the best ways to make life easier for someone with dementia is to make their home dementia-friendly.

Even simple changes to your home can have a big impact, such as removing clutter, ensuring rooms are well-lit and getting rid of trip hazards to make it safer for your loved one to move around the home.

This will in turn help your caring responsibilities significantly. Knowing that the person you care for can manage more easily at home can greatly relieve stress and means you do not have to constantly watch over them.

For a more in-depth guide on how to make your home easier for someone with dementia to live in, read our Top 10 ways to make your home dementia-friendly.

Make plans for the future

As dementia causes physical and cognitive regression there will most likely come a time when your loved one is unable to make their own decisions about their care, finances and other important matters.

Even if it is difficult at the time, putting a long-term plan in place during the early stages is advisable. This ensures your loved one can be involved in the process and make their wishes about the future known.

Planning ahead will also greatly reduce the stress of not knowing what to do if you suddenly have to make decisions for your loved one. Problems can also arise if it is not clear who should be making decisions. This can include care options, legal and financial arrangements and any other goals they may have.

For example, your loved one may want to spend their final moments at home surrounded by family and friends rather than receiving end of life care in a care home. Putting these plans in place early saves you from making decisions that may not be what your loved one would have wanted.

Tips for communicating well with someone with dementia

Communicating with someone who is living with dementia can be difficult and stressful. Learning how to help the person express themselves is key and will likely improve your relationship.

The person with dementia’s ability to communicate will change over time, so you may need to learn new ways to understand how they express themselves as time progresses.

• Show a positive attitude and body language and speak in a respectful manner
• Limit distractions to get your loved one’s attention
• Speak slowly and clearly, use simple words and sentences
• Ask simple ‘yes’ or ‘no’ questions and avoid choice
• Be patient and listen with all your senses
• Be reassuring and show affection
• If your loved one gets upset or agitated, try to distract them and redirect their attention
• Try not to argue even if you think they are mistaken

Create daily routines

Setting daily routines during dementia care enables you and your family to keep a sense of structure and helps you to better manage day-to-day tasks. With routines in place, you can let your loved one know what to expect and help them with orientation.

For example, keeping consistent times for waking up the morning, meal times, activities and bed times is beneficial to someone with dementia as there will be less surprised and reasons for confusion.

Having routines in place will also make it easier for you to plan your day and makes it easier to communicate what time of day it is to your loved one. Opening the curtains in the morning to let the sunlight in and closing them in the evening can be used as cues to help the person with dementia know what to do and to expect.

Encourage your loved one to stay as independent as possible

Try as much as possible to let your loved one do things for themselves. This can be more difficult as the dementia progresses but will help them keep a sense of purpose.

Additionally, maintaining independence lets them focus on what they can do rather than what they cannot. If they are able to get out of bed and dress themselves in the morning, let them do so.

Making your home dementia-friendly is a part of encouraging independence. If your loved one is struggling to tell the time by looking at a wall clock, why not purchase a digital clock with large displays showing both date and time?

If they keep forgetting where things are, put up labels to indicate where items are located so they can find these themselves.

Help your loved one with everyday tasks

Although independence should be encouraged as much as possible, as dementia progresses they may not be able to the things they used to, and you need to step in to assist.

It is very important to support your loved one to maintain skills and abilities and you can do this by helping them with things they find stressful, difficult or simply forget to do.

For example, incontinence and experiencing problems with using the toilet are common for people with dementia and can be upsetting both for themselves and you.

You can put up a sign with words and pictures on the door, keep the door open and the lights on at night to guide them to the bathroom. Also try to look for signs that they may need the toilet, such as fidgeting or standing up or down.

Exercise helps with regular bowel movements and including going to the toilet in the daily routine can help too.

Engage in activities and socialise

Including activities and visitors in your daily routine ensures your loved one is using all their senses and experience social interaction. Focus on their hobbies and interests but avoid doing too much as that can make them stressed.

During the early stages of dementia, it will be easier to understand what they enjoy doing. As the disease progresses and communication declines, try to remember what they used to love doing.

It is important that they are able to do the activities, so make sure you engage in activities according to their current level of ability to avoid frustration.

In addition to letting them help with everyday tasks such as cooking, shopping and laying the table, you should preferably vary the activities to stimulate the different senses.Going outdoors gives you fresh air and can be therapeutic and is a great opportunity for exercise.

Here are some ideas for activities:

• Going for walks in a park or the woods
• Gardening is great, but make sure it is safe
• Singing songs
• Dancing
• Painting
• Playing with pets
• Listening to music
• Group activities designed for people with dementia at community centres or day care centres

Exercise regularly and maintain a healthy diet

Healthy eating and exercise are important for everyone’s wellbeing. A person living with dementia may not realise they are hungry or thirsty, so it is important to make this part of the daily routine.

They may not recognise food or forget what they like to eat and drink. They may even refuse or spit out food.

To help them keep a good diet, set aside enough time for meals, offer food in smaller portions, give them finger food if they struggle with cutlery and offer drinks in clear glasses they can easily hold.

Exercise helps your loved one keep fit and releases endorphins to boost their mood. Try to fit in at least 30 minutes every day for a brisk walk or other physical activity.

Ask for help and get support

Even if you feel that you know what you are doing most of the time, caring for a person with dementia is a challenge. At times you may feel lonely, exhausted and struggling to cope. But, it is important to remember that there are many others going through the same thing.

Do not be afraid to ask for help and support from family and friends, and there are numerous support groups and charities across the country to help you through the tough times and give you a well-earned break.

Do not wait until you have reached a crisis point before you ask for help – you need to take care of yourself to be able to take care of someone else. Respite care could also be an option.

Below are a number of organisations that can offer help:

• Dementia UK’s Admiral Nurse Dementia Helpline is for anyone with questions about dementia: 0800 888 6678
• The Alzheimer’s Society helpline Dementia Connect offers advice and support: 0333 150 3456
• Age UK operates a free advice line: 0800 678 1602
• Independent Age can offer advice and support for older age: 0800 319 6789