Podcast: Wendy Mitchell and dementia: 'My biggest fear is not knowing who my daughters are'

Wendy Mitchell was diagnosed with early onset dementia at the age of 58 and since then has written a bestselling memoir about her experiences called ‘Somebody I Used to Know’.

In it she reveals her pain on being given a “sad look” by the doctor who diagnosed her and how she thought her life as she knew it was over.

Five years on, she is an ambassador for the Alzheimer’s Society, and recently received honorary doctorates from Bradford University and Hull University.

She regularly travels to conferences and events giving talks on dementia. The Let’s Talk About Care podcast run by carehome.co.uk caught up with Wendy at the Cheltenham Literature Festival.

In carehome.co.uk's podcast she revealed the battles she goes through on a daily basis and how she has always been a “glass half full person” which helps her through difficult days.

For her, her “biggest fear is not knowing who my daughters are. I don’t know, it may be tomorrow so I focus on the present and enjoy the now.

“The biggest thing, me and my daughters have learnt through having dementia is the power of talking.

“I am still a mum and I want to know what is worrying them as much as they want to know what is worrying me,” she said.

She is doing her utmost to change the attitudes of clinicians and doctors, saying: “When I was diagnosed with dementia, I knew very little about it and I was given that sad look and I thought there was little I could do. When I got this diagnosis my daughters thought the same.”

It is for this reason, she warns: “Language must never be underestimated. The language you use when giving a diagnosis can make or break people. Clinicians should be saying there is still so much you can do. I thought I worked in the ideal place to be diagnosed as I worked in the NHS for 20 years.

“I have found that many of my friends who have dementia gave up their jobs without even telling their employers because of the stigma.”

Her impetus for speaking out about her experiences is to try and bust some of the myths about dementia.

“People assumed because I had been diagnosed with dementia, I had immediately jumped to the late stage of dementia. Dementia is such a vast spectrum. Some days I have bad brain fog but I know if today is bad then tomorrow will be better.

“But I felt there was still so much laughing left to do. I call all this my suduko as it keeps my brain active being in lots of different environments and meeting lots of different people.”

Interestingly, Wendy also reveals how dementia has even changed her personality, saying "I used to be very quiet. Now I have become a gregarious alien, according to my daughter".

Wendy has found her emotions have changed and she is no longer capable of getting angry or jealous.

"I have now only three states," she says, "happy, sad and content".

To read Wendy Mitchell’s blog go to https://whichmeamitoday.wordpress.com/. You can also follow her on twitter at @WendyPMitchell