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There are now over 66 million people in the UK, yet loneliness is on the rise.
The charity Campaign to End Loneliness estimates 45% of adults in the UK feel lonely, with 5% experiencing persistent loneliness. Around half a million older people go up to six days a week without seeing or speaking to anyone, and 20% citing the television as their main source of company.
This article has some helpful tips on preventing loneliness.
What is the impact of being lonely?
Loneliness is not only devastating for mental health health but can have a serious impact on physical health. According to research, loneliness can alter the immune system and promote inflammation. Over time this can put people at a greater risk of infection, dementia and even cancer.
Anyone can be lonely, even if they aren’t isolated
Loneliness can affect anyone of any age. It’s not necessarily the same as being alone, you can be surrounded by people and still feel it. You might speak to people all day but if this contact lacks meaningful connection, you can still feel isolated. It’s often said that humans are social animals; having trusting, intimate relationships with people who truly enjoy our company and value us is an innate, primal need.
Cheryl Lythgoe, Matron at Benenden Health, explains: “Loneliness and social isolation are two very different things, as it is possible for those who are socially isolated to not feel lonely and vice versa, those with busy social lives can suffer with loneliness. It is important to know this as it can be detrimental to assume, or dismiss, someone’s feelings of loneliness purely because of their social calendar.
“Anyone and everyone can suffer with loneliness, not just older people. It can be circumstantial, such as the loss of a loved one or a physical ailment, or it can stem from personality traits or mental illness.
“Regardless of what it is caused by, and the fact loneliness is not a diagnosable condition, it can be managed and often the most successful route to doing so is identifying the root cause.”
Here are some tips to help prevent loneliness
1. Keep in touch with people
Regular contact with people you care about can not only ease loneliness in the obvious way, but also help you to feel less isolated as others share their own worries and experiences with you.
Psychotherapist John-Paul Davies, friend of the Marmalade Trust, recommends valuing others. “Think about how you can show other people that you value them. Remember the birthday, the job interview, the big date, show people what they mean to you and it will help to deepen the connections in friendships.”
Older people can struggle with modern tech, but there are excellent guides, such as this selection from Age UK, to walk you through how to use programmes that will help you to stay connected.
2. Keep busy
A useful tip to prevent loneliness is to have structure and productivity in your life. This can boost your mental wellbeing, confidence and help you to feel part of your local community.
It could be small things like taking up a new hobby or establishing a new daily routine. Changing your surroundings can really help loneliness. This could be a big change like moving into supported living or a retirement village, or something smaller like reading in the library instead of at home, or watching the match in your local pub rather than alone.
Maybe it’s time to take a leap and get involved in local groups in your area, if you are able to. Many communities have activities such as:
- Walking groups (often these provide shorter and longer walks to cater to all abilities)
- Art clubs such as painting, photography and handicrafts
- History societies
- Gardening clubs
- Choirs
- Amateur dramatics societies
- Exercise and sports groups, with many based around gentler activities like yoga or walking football
- Lunch and coffee clubs
- Book clubs and religious discussion groups
If you’re older or have a disability, you may also be interested in adult day care or attending one of Age UK’s friendship centres.
To find out more about what’s going on in your area, you could check on Age UK’s postcode search or use smartphone apps like Meetup or Eventbrite.
3. Help others and volunteer
Another tip that can help prevent loneliness is to give up your time to help others in your community.
This can help to reduce feelings of isolation and increase your sense of purpose and your confidence.
You might help your friends, family and neighbours with a few acts of kindness here and there, or become a volunteer.
There are a huge number of volunteering opportunities that you could get involved in. Think about what particular skills or experience you have that you could use to help people. You might be a great cook, great listener or have been through tough experiences and wish to use your experience and compassion to help others going through something similar.
To find volunteering opportunities where you live, visit Volunteer Now or type your postcode into one of the below links to see what you could do:
Join Age UK’s Telephone Friendship Service
Age UK runs a superb service to lonely or isolated older people, in which volunteers spend a little time each week having a friendly conversation with them over the phone. The service matches volunteers with older people so that they can establish an ongoing friendship and provide crucial social contact.
Dame Judi Dench, who is a supporter of Age UK, said: “Loneliness and isolation are an everyday existence for so many older people. While many of us are incredibly lucky to have family, friends and neighbours who check in on us, call us, make us laugh and so much more, not everybody has somebody. And that’s heart-breaking.
“Having somebody to talk to can change everything, it can change a person’s life. Age UK can do this, they are there at the end of the phone for the older people who need them.”
The service urgently needs more volunteers, so if you can give a friendly ear for 30 minutes a week, you could make an enormous difference to an older person’s life, without even having to leave your home.
4. Stay healthy
Exercising and ensuring you stay healthy will mean you stay more mobile in later life, which will help to prevent loneliness. As being unable to go out of your house independently will inevitably restrict your interactions with people.
Extreme loneliness can be dangerous, both physically and mentally. Studies have shown it can increase the risk of a whole range of serious health conditions, from depression to heart disease.
Many people turn to crutches such as alcohol to deal with loneliness, but this is not an effective solution. Unhealthy coping mechanisms can soon turn to addiction, which can in turn make you more isolated in the long run. As author Johann Hari said: “The opposite of addiction is not sobriety. The opposite of addiction is connection.”
It’s essential not to give up on yourself, not least because when social opportunities do come your way, you’ll find it a lot easier to form meaningful connections with others if you’re healthy and happy.
If you are struggling with mental health or an unhealthy coping mechanism, see your GP.
5. Make time for yourself
This may sound counterproductive in preventing loneliness, but having quality time alone can actually be beneficial. Make time to enjoy your own company, doing activities you love.
Cheryl Lythgoe says: “Crucially, it’s about finding something that enables you to relax and feel more positive – but remember, what works for someone else, may not work for you. Some people may be enjoying the return to their social lives, but there is also no shame in relaxing and watching a few episodes of your favourite TV show or tending to your garden at home.
“Taking time out to ‘live in the moment’ and appreciate your surroundings can help to reduce stress and ease feelings of worry and anxiety about what is going on.
“It is important to keep in mind that you are not alone in this. There will be hugs, shared pots of tea and celebrations in the future but for now, try to take each day as it comes and focus on yourself.”
Helplines
| The Silver Line | 0800 4 70 80 90 |
| Age UK | 0800 055 6112 |
| Reengage | 0800 716 543 |
| Wavelength | 01708 621 101 |
| Mind | 0300 123 3393 |
| Samaritans | 116 123 |