Men’s mental health: Warning signs, suicide and how to get help

This article highlights issues surrounding men’s mental health, suicide, statistics and tips on how to improve mental health.

This is because three times as many men die by suicide in the UK, compared to women.

Pressure on men to ‘man up’

The true figures around men’s mental health issues are likely hidden because the data only shows what is reported.

The gender stereotype that men should be strong and ‘man up’ instead of talking about their emotions, which may be seen as a sign of weakness, may be part of the reason for undiagnosed and untreated cases of mental health problems among men.

Dr Natasha Bijlani, a consultant psychiatrist at Priory Hospital Roehampton, highlights the outdated idea of what it means to be a man: “Traditionally, men have been less likely to seek support for mental health issues. This is probably for a number of reasons including stigma and the traditional ‘strong male’ stereotype still prevalent in our society – the idea that expressing emotion is a sign of weakness.”

Women tend to be more communicative around mental health and are more likely to discuss their feelings with others rather than resorting to internalising their emotions.

Priory is a leading independent provider of mental healthcare and adult social care in the UK.

The Priory’s survey of 1,000 men in the UK discovered that 40% of men have never spoken to anyone about their mental health, despite over three-quarters suffering from common symptoms like anxiety, stress or depression.

When asked why they don’t speak up, the biggest reasons given were:

• ‘I’ve learnt to deal with it’ (40%) 
• ‘I don’t wish to be a burden to anyone’ (36%)
• ‘I’m too embarrassed’ (29%)
• ‘There’s negative stigma around this type of thing’ (20%)

The survey also found that the biggest cause of mental health issues in men’s lives are:

• Work (32%)
• Their finances (31%)
• Their health (23%)

Men’s suicide statistics

It is difficult to paint the true picture of the state of men’s mental health. However, looking at suicide statistics among males further supports the argument that men are less likely to seek help, leading to fewer diagnoses of mental health problems.

In 2021, there were 5,583 suicides registered in England and Wales, according to the Office for National Statistics.

Three-quarters of these suicides were men (4,129 deaths), equivalent to 16 deaths per 100,000 but the rate for females was much lower at 5.5 deaths per 100,000 (1,454 female suicides).

Three times more men than women take their own life in an ongoing trend that has continued for decades, according to the ONS.    

According to the charity the Samaritans, ‘middle-aged men are more likely to die by suicide than any other age group.’

In 2021, the suicide rate was highest among men aged 50 to 54 years.

In England, the Office for National Statistics reported 5,219 suicides were registered in 2021.   The male suicide rate was 15.8 per 100,000, compared to a female suicide rate of 5.5 per 100,000.  

In Wales, the ONS reported 347 suicides registered in 2021.The male suicide rate was 19.7 per 100,000 compared to the female suicide rate of 5.9 per 100,000.

In Scotland, 753 suicides were registered in 2021. Here also men remain almost 3 times as likely to die by suicide than females.

In Northern Ireland, (according to the figures from the Northern Ireland Statistics and Research Agency (NISRA) there were 237 suicides registered in 2021 and the suicide rate for men was 19.6 per 100,000 compared to a suicide rate amongst women of 7.1 per 100,000.

Signs and symptoms of mental health issues

If you’re concerned you or someone else might be suffering from mental health issues, consider these common signs and symptoms.

• Overwhelming feelings of sadness
• Withdrawal from friends and family
• Difficulty concentrating
• Feeling tired or fatigued
• Physical symptoms like shortness of breath or headaches

Signs of poor mental health amongst men

While many of these symptoms are universal, some signs are more common in men than they are in women.

• Substance abuse
• Anger and irritability
• Working obsessively
• Sleep problems
• Reckless behaviour

What can impact someone’s mental health?

There are many different factors that can impact upon someone’s mental health.

For example, bipolar disorder is a mental health condition, also referred to as a brain condition, that significantly impacts a person’s mood.

Mental health causes and triggers

The symptoms of some mental health conditions can be caused by a differing level of the chemicals in the brain.
For example bipolar disorder sees different emotional states being triggered when these chemicals are too low or too high.

Triggers may be brought on when a person goes through an extremely stressful situation, such as losing a loved one or being in an abusive relationship.

Here are a few factors that can impact upon a person’s mental health:

• Loneliness
• Addiction
• PTSD
• Cost of living crisis
• Domestic violence
• Bereavement
• Loss of job
• Homelessness
• ADHD
• Autism
• Disability
• Chronic pain
• Sexual abuse
• Being LGBT+

Men: Loneliness and Suicide

Samaritan’s 2020 report ‘Out of sight, out of mind: Why less well-off, middle-aged men don’t get the support they need’ states: ‘We know that there are many risk factors which lead to increased risk of suicide in middle-aged men, including exclusion from a changing labour market, cultural shifts in ideas of ‘how to be a man’, relationship breakdown and social disconnection’.

Many of the men spoken to were ‘disconnected’ from the people, places and networks around them.

The report found ‘many had spent significant periods of their lives with few meaningful connections. We know that there is an association between suicide and loneliness. This can be a particular issue for men. Men tend to feel more lonely than women, even when they are not socially isolated.

‘In general, men tend to have fewer meaningful connections than women and their social networks can be less supportive. Most of the men we spoke to, through this research, had experienced a lack of meaningful connection from their earliest years.

‘Over recent years, there has been a positive focus on breaking down barriers and stigma around mental health, and encouraging men to seek help. However, there is still a lack of understanding of what works to prevent suicide among this group.’

‘You’re the head of the family and you’re brought up in an old-fashioned way’

Samaritans stated: ‘The men we spoke to had been struggling for years with poor mental health and suicidal thoughts and feelings.’

 “The overwhelming sense of I can’t tell [my family], not because I’m ashamed but because I don’t want to encroach on their life. That is all encompassing. That takes away any rational thoughts.”

David says he was “bullied to death” at school and points to this as an important part of his early teenage years.  “Things like that leave an indelible mark”.

Peter only really had his sister as a companion from a young age. He felt isolated from other children partly as his mother struggled with her mental health. Peter said: “As children we were afraid of talking, laughing, anything like that.”

For a number of the men, the Samaritans found their friendships were based on shared substance abuse which had become a main source of connection. But these friends were ‘ill-equipped to support them when they needed it.

‘Some described trying to stop drinking or using drugs, and quickly realised the destructive nature of the relationships built around this habit. Not only did these friendships not provide adequate emotional support, they often caused harm’.

The stigma of addiction also created barriers for the men who wanted to reconnect with family, friends, communities and employment.

The Samaritan’s report concluded: ‘The men we spoke to experienced loss of employment, breakdown of relationships and substance abuse, sometimes simultaneously, often interspersed with suicidal feelings and even attempts.

‘Despite being affected by well documented risk factors and coming into contact with statutory services, they still drifted and continued to struggle until they hit a crisis point.’

Peer support can help men’s mental health

Samaritans has found peer support groups can help support men who are struggling.

The men the Samaritans spoke to wanted to feel like they had something in common with others, whether that be shared experiences, or shared enjoyment of certain activities.

Many men engaged with community schemes where there were other people who had had similar experiences to them or had gone through other tough times.

‘Men benefited from and found it easier to deal with the issues that they were facing when they knew that there were other people experiencing similar things. They liked knowing they weren’t alone in their struggles.’

The first time Ian went to a depression group he said: “I sat in the car and didn’t go in. I couldn’t pluck up the courage. It was embarrassment that stopped me going in. I was embarrassed to talk about depression with other people.

“But it’s a big burden off your shoulders when you do.”

‘If it weren’t for this place I wouldn’t be here now’

James ran a drama group in South London for older black men who seemed to be struggling. He encouraged men to come along to this safe space to explore the issues that were important to them.

Tom has been going to a weekly group which has a community allotment.  If Tom doesn’t go to the group, the man who runs the group will come round and check he’s okay and persuade him to keep attending.’

Dylan now goes to a men’s community group where he has become an established member. During his first visit he had a cup of tea and was quickly having a chat with the other men.

“I went downhill rapidly. If it weren’t for this place I wouldn’t be here now…. It’s so friendly here. Started coming down and I haven’t looked back. I’m here everyday if I can.”

The Samaritan’s report concluded ‘The opportunity to make a contribution, a feeling of inclusivity and the opportunity to work towards common goals were key facets of an engaging service, according to those we spoke to.

“These factors speak directly to some of the challenges these men have faced in earlier life, such as with their relationships and social connections, and experiences that have left them feeling like they are not fulfilling valuable roles (for themselves and others).

‘Our conversations with these men also highlighted the importance of community and peer-led initiatives where participants take on roles as facilitators or co-designers.’

‘I believed I was unlovable, an empty shell’

In a blog on the charity Mind’s website, Aled, from Gwynedd describes how volunteering with Mind has helped him.

“Unknowingly I’ve struggled with mental health most of my life, the tell-tale signs were always there. 

“Being angry all the time, self-harming and becoming distant and withdrawn from people and social events. I believed I was unlovable, an empty shell and would eventually die alone. 

“In October 2021 I attempted to take my own life, and thankfully I didn’t succeed. With the help of my close friends, children and my incredible wife, I could seek the support I needed.”

He came up with the idea for a walking rugby group, saying: “When I hung my boots up over 5 years ago, I noticed a decline in my mental health.”

Aled’s weekly rugby group helps people keep fit and socialise with others dealing with similar difficulties.

Conwy Mind helped Aled gain the training he needed to encourage people to talk about their feelings and connect with professional services in north Wales, while also helping them keep active. 

“It would have been easy to give up, however, I am determined not to let this illness consume or define me. Instead, it’s given me the passion to promote normalising mental health and help others seek the help they need. 

“Before my struggles I had never thought about volunteering, I naively thought this was something I was far too busy for. This can’t be further from the truth.”

How can men improve mental health?

Peer-led supportive communities for men

Here are some examples of peer-led support groups for men.

• ANDYSMANCLUB takes its name from Andrew Roberts, a man who took his own life aged 23 in 2016.  Elaine Roberts and Luke Ambler are Andy’s mum and brother-in-law. They formed ANDYSMANCLUB. In this group, men aged 18 and above can speak openly about their mental health in a non-clinical environment. There are now  ANDYSMANCLUB groups across the UK, helping over 1,000 men every week.

• The Men and Boys Coalition: An umbrella charity in the UK with a network of academics, charities and advocates whose work is dedicated to supporting the wellbeing of men and boys.

• The Blue Ribbon Foundation promotes better health and wellbeing for men. 

• Future Men is a charity that supports positive male involvement, engagement and activity. It also addresses the stereotypes around masculinity and engaging in the wider conversation of what it means to be a man. It works with boys and men from childhood to 25. Its Boys Development Programme in schools helps to reduce exclusion and improve mental health and educational attainment.

• Mengage is a not-for-profit company working with males on their health and the issues that affect their health.

Making simple changes to your life can make a significant difference to your mental wellbeing.

Ways to improve mental health

• Talk to others about your feelings
• Ask for help – e.g. contact your GP.
• Spend time with others face to face
• Keep physically active
• Eat and drink healthily
• Take a break to relieve stress
• Practice mindfulness
• Learn new skills to boost your confidence
• Do things you enjoy
• Care for and help others and consider volunteering.
• Accept who you are

Getting help to boost your mental health

If you have concerns about your own mental health, you can ask your GP for an emergency appointment. You can also call the NHS on 111 who will be able to provide guidance.

Your GP will be able to refer you to specialist services if they find it necessary, such as counselling or other talking treatments.

Many therapeutic methods are proven to help people overcome common mental health issues such as depression. These treatments look at the underlying causes of the problems you’re having and aim to develop ways of coping with and overcoming symptoms.

Therapy can be done on a 1-1 basis, as part of a group, or digitally via online therapy.

There are many organisations across the UK supporting to improve their mental wellbeing. To find local mental health charities visit Hub of Hope.

You can also get support for mental health here:

• Rethink Mental Illness
• Mind
• Mental Health Foundation
• Men’s Health Forum

What if I have suicidal thoughts?

If you have suicidal thoughts, help and support is always available, and it is important that you tell someone about it. You do not have to struggle alone.

• Call 999
• Visit A&E
• Book an emergency appointment through your GP
• Speak to your local NHS urgent mental health helpline (available in England)

Remember that if you feel unable to keep yourself safe, it is a medical emergency.

These helplines provide crisis support and advice.

• Samaritans free helpline (open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year) – 116 123
• Campaign Against Living Miserably (CALM) – 0800 58 58 58
• Papyrus (for people under 35) – 0800 068 41 41

If your life is in danger, call 999 immediately or go to A&E. Alternatively, ask someone else to call 999 for you or take you to A&E.

How to help someone if you think they are in immediate danger

• When people are close to the point of attempting suicide, they might feel disassociated from others, the world around them, and even their own emotions and they sometimes might not show any visible signs of distress.
• If someone has hurt themselves and you think their injuries are life-threatening, call an ambulance on 999. You can do this whether you are with them in person or not.
• Reach out and talk to the person to help draw their attention back to the world around them – for example, asking simple questions that don’t focus on why they are feeling the way they do. Try to make the suicidal person feel safe, connected and validated.
• Try and move the person away from a dangerous location, for example, if you are able and it is safe to do so.
• If you can, call an ambulance and, if you are not physically with the person in danger, try to arrange for someone to be there with them.

Tips to cope with suicidal thoughts

The mental health charity MIND has published practical tips for people having suicidal thoughts. They might be feeling so upset, angry and in pain that you believe these feelings will never end.

You can read MIND’s tips here

Resources for people with mental health issues  

There are lots of different factors that can impact on a person’s mental health.  Loneliness, addiction, PTSD, cost of living crisis, domestic violence, bereavement, homelessness, LGBT+ related concerns, ADHD, autism, disability, chronic pain or sexual abuse,

Here are some support groups that can help with loneliness, addiction, bereavement, abuse etc.

Loneliness

• Tips to prevent loneliness
• Campaign to end loneliness.

Cost of living

• Citizen’s Advice
• Stepchange debt charity
• The Trussel Trust

• Addiction – alcohol or drugs

• We are with you
• Smart Recovery
• Action Addiction
• Turning Point
• Humankind
• Rehab4Addiction

Gambling

• Gamcare
• BetknowmoreUK

PTSD

• Freedom from Torture
• PTSD UK

Bipolar Disorder

Bipolar UK

Chronic pain

• NHS – Ways to manage chronic pain

Bereavement

• At a loss
• Cruse Bereavement Services
• The Good Grief Trust
• The Compassionate Friends
• Survivors of Bereavement by Suicide

Older people with convictions 

• RECOOP

Autism

• National Autistic Society
• Resources for Autism
• Autism Alliance

ADHD

• ADHD Foundation
• ADHA UK
• ADHD Care

Homelessness

• If you are homeless, get help from your council’s housing department.

Homeless organisations:

• Centre Point
• Shelter
• Crisis
• Salvation Army

LGBTIQ+

• Switchboard LGBT+Helpline
• LGBT Foundation
• Stonewall
• Galop

Victim Support

• The Survivors Trust

Male Domestic Abuse

• Mankind Initiative