Loneliness can affect anyone at any age at any time. Here are some tips for coping with loneliness, understanding the causes and ways to manage loneliness that stop you feeling lonely.
What causes loneliness?
Loneliness is often felt by people who feel their need for social connections is not met. They may feel ‘cut off’ from society.
A mental health illness can increase feelings of loneliness. You can have anxiety and be withdrawn and as a result avoid social activities you would normally enjoy.
This can be a vicious circle with loneliness actually exacerbating mental health issues.
A bereavement of someone close to you, becoming a new parent, a move to a new area, job loss, financial issues, a relationship break up or divorce, disability or frailty can all cause feelings of loneliness.
You may experience ill health and have home care needs but feel like you do not want to be a burden to others by asking family or friends for help. Financial worries can also cause people to see friends less often for fear of spending too much money.
What to do to stop feeling lonely?
You may feel powerless when it comes to tackling loneliness but here are 10 top tips to help you.
10 tips for coping with loneliness
1. Open up to people about how you feel
Don’t suffer in silence. Be frank and honest with yourself and others about just how lonely you feel.
2. Identify the root cause of your loneliness
Try to figure out the reason why you are feeling lonely. It could be because of a bereavement, a relationship break up, discrimination, disability, financial struggles, a mental illness, retirement, a job or home move.
You may already know why but sometimes the cause is not so clear. Once you have identified a cause for your loneliness you can begin to tackle it.
3. Address the cause of loneliness
There are many different causes for loneliness, which require different actions
If you are struggling financially, which is impacting your social life and wellbeing, you should seek financial help. The Red Cross has listed organisations who can help you face any financial difficulty.
If you are finding it difficult to cope after a bereavement, specialist bereavement counselling is available. Cruse Bereavement Support offers information and support after a bereavement via its telephone line 0808 8808 1677. You can connect with others who have also experienced the loss of a loved one.
If going through a relationship break up/ divorce, consider ways to meet new friends. Consider dating, if you feel comfortable enough.
You may have faced discrimination, (e.g. sex, LGBTQ+, race, religion, disability etc), which might be is making you isolate yourself from others. Reach out for help by contacting people who could help you stop the discrimination, e.g. dedicated helplines, a trusted friend or the police.
If you have a mental health illness, get support by contacting a MIND helpline and visit your GP. hubofhope.co.uk is a UK-wide mental health service database which lets you search for local, peer, community and private/NHS mental health support. If you feel suicidal, Samaritans are open 24/7 for anyone who needs to talk 116 123 (freephone).
Anyone who is struggling with a specific disability or health condition, can check out this list of charities and organisations, who can help. If you need home care to help you with day-to -day living, you can find out more about different types of home care.
4. Consider talking therapies
If you feel like you want to talk to someone about your feelings of loneliness and how to tackle it, there are talking therapies such as counselling services you can turn to.
The British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy (BACP) is a professional body for talking therapy and counselling. It provides information and a list of accredited therapists.
5. Make new social connections
Social connections can be made in person or online. Meetup.com is a website that helps people find face-to-face groups of people who share the same interests or aspirations. Consider joining a club or society. This could involve taking up old or new hobbies playing virtual games with others online or joining a local walking group. You can find a walking group on www.ramblers.org.uk.
6. Be in the presence of other people
You may find that going to environments where there are lots of people can help with coping with loneliness. For example, coffee shops, parks, libraries or shopping centres. Listening to the chatter of others and experiencing the presence of others near you may help, even if you feel you do not want to talk to anyone.
Another way to do this is by attending a local parkrun which you can do by visiting www.parkrun.org.uk. Parkruns are free, weekly, 5km timed runs across the UK.
7. Establish a routine
When it comes to coping with loneliness, finding a routine that gives you structure can help give you a focus and bring interest to your day.
8. Volunteer to help others
Voluntary work is an admirable way of taking the focus away from you to others who may need help.
It is rewarding work which can boost a person’s self-esteem and confidence. If you cannot easily leave the house, this could involve signing up to befriend lonely people such as phoning elderly people via Silverline.
Information about volunteering, including local details is provided by the National Council for Voluntary Organisations (NCVO).
9. Find ways to be comfortable in your own company
If you are feeling lonely, consider finding a new hobby/interest or rekindle an old hobby.
You may find great satisfaction in getting busy with solo pursuits such as painting, sketching, fishing, birdwatching or photography. Reading books can open up new worlds and experiences through the eyes of characters.
10. Don’t give up
If you have been feeling lonely for a long time, do not blame yourself or be too hard on yourself.
It may seem like too big a leap to go out and meet new people (e.g. after the loss of a partner) but every big leap begins with a small step. The important thing is to never give up and keep trying!
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