Finding the right Christmas present for someone living with dementia

Picking a gift for someone living with dementia can quickly become an extra worry on top of the usual stress and decisions that come with finding the perfect presents for friends and family at Christmas.

However the options now available from a wide range of resources can go some way to turn a gift into an opportunity to create a great present the whole family can enjoy.

Dementia experts have been offering tips on choosing presents which will appeal to people with dementia and can create opportunities to help them reminisce about fond memories of their past.

George McNamara, head of policy and public affairs at the Alzheimer’s Society says: “Products such as memory books or CDs of favourite tunes might be an ideal present for people with dementia. Reminiscence therapy is a powerful way of helping empower people with dementia. Listening to music from the past or looking through old photos can help people feel happier and improve their mood when they are able to access long-term memories.

“Dealing with the loss of memories can be a frustrating part of living with dementia. Reminiscence therapy can be a positive way for people to try and recall memories in a friendly and supportive environment. Occasionally a person who hasn’t spoken in a long time will suddenly recall something with such clarity; it can be a truly special moment.”

However for some with dementia, a new object could cause extra confusion if the person does not think it belongs to them. Family members have described how people have rejected new objects given as presents in their homes if they cannot remember where they came from.

Similarly, creating an album of recent photos could cause confusion to someone with dementia if they cannot remember these recent family pictures. Older pictures taken from when they themselves were younger might have a greater impact and trigger memories the person might then enjoying telling during the festive period.

Maizie Mears-Owens, Care UK’s head of dementia services, said: “The trick is to find out where the person is in their memory. A lady in her eighties may not want to hear music from the 1940s, because in her mind she is 40 and enjoys listening to the Beatles, Mungo Jerry or Brotherhood of Man. The important thing is to keep talking to the person to find out what they currently like.”

“There is a lot to be said for buying gifts as usual based on your knowledge of their likes and dislikes but careful and creative gift giving can reap wellbeing benefits for the whole family.”

Thomas Murray is managing director of AlzProducts.co.uk which specialises in products for people living with different stages of dementia.

Mr Murray warned of the effect a present could have on someone who is struggling to come to terms with a dementia diagnosis, and the sensitivity that is required when choosing gifts which reflect both the persons own personality and their change on health.

He said: “There are other factors to consider, for example if the person has Alzheimer's and is in denial, then any gift that comes across as being too dementia based may incur dislike or anger.”

Mr Murray highlighted the importance of personalising each gift to the individual tastes of someone living with dementia.

Mr Murray said: “We sell a lot of picture books, jigsaw puzzles, etc, and customers usually choose themes that they believe their relative will enjoy, obviously the key is to tie the theme into hobbies they've enjoyed throughout their life.

“The unfortunate part of dementia gifts is that there is a very small selection available in comparison to normal gifts, which can be a problem finding something that fits the individual.

“Sometimes what can be done instead, is to choose a gift that helps eliminate a symptom of their condition, this can be even more thoughtful in the early or mid stages where the individual still understands why you've bought them a typically "non-gift" gift for Christmas.

“For example we had one customer last year who bought a selection of gifts for their mother, the "gift" that her mother ended up being the most thankful for, and happy with, was one of our simple remote controls for her television, as she loved television but was seriously struggling in recent weeks to operate it.”

Thinking of gifts which appeal to the senses can also be a good options to consider, with certain smells or tastes from their past creating memory recall or comfort for someone with dementia or Alzheimer’s.

Ms Mears-Owens continued: “I know myself that if I smell lily of the valley or lavender it takes me right back to my childhood, because it was a perfume my Nan wore. So it can be a good idea to think back and see if any of the perfumes they have worn before are still available.”

For people with more advanced dementia, sensory cushions can provide stimulation and comfort to loved ones. Ms Mears-Owens said: “Fur, silk, material which rustles, leather and the like are really good to use and readily available from most haberdashers.”

Buying someone with dementia food or beverages could also be an appealing and welcome gift. A large box of biscuits for sharing can create a good reason for them to spend time talking and sharing their gifts with those close to them which is a simple activity but something someone with dementia might especially enjoy.

Some sweet shops offer confectionary hampers containing traditional sweet treats which older people can enjoy, with the taste of humbugs or liquorice sticks reminding them of their childhood and the fun associated with that period of their life.

Rose Elliot, Care UK’s specialist triage expert said making homemade gifts can also give gifts an extra personal touch which will appeal to older family members.

She said: “Christmas can still be a magical time for families and there is a lot of fun to be had being creative with your gifts.”

“You just need a box that you can cover with nice paper and a theme to work with, such as Christmas, family holidays or the seaside.

“You then collect old photos of the person connected to the theme and then build up mementos. For example, if it were the seaside, you may include postcards, shells, rock and old photos of seaside resorts the person knows, which you can find on the internet.”

“They are from a generation that used to make presents and sitting down decorating a jar and filling it with bath crystals, decorating cakes, knitting or making cards, is not only creative and rewarding for the person themselves but it gives you a chance to sit, chat and laugh about Christmases past.”

Melanie Abram, area manager, Bupa Care Services said: “Finding gifts for relatives and friends living with dementia can often be difficult. Many people with dementia still enjoy their interests and hobbies, watching television or listening to their favourite music so old movies, CDs, iPods with personal playlists and favourite television programmes can all be good presents and trigger happy memories.

“In our care homes we encourage family members and loved ones to help residents put together a Memory Box filled with meaningful items such as photographs, keepsakes and other special objects collected over the years. Reminiscing can bring back happy memories for people living with dementia and encourages interaction. This is a thoughtful gift that you can create together and needn’t cost anything.”

It seems to be clear that with any present at Christmas time, taking into account the personality of the person you are buying for is crucial when choosing a gift for someone with dementia. Having an understanding of the stage of dementia they are living with can also be a factor that will also help in buying welcome and enjoyed gifts this Christmas.

Mr Murray of alzproducts.co.uk concluded: “In short, as most things with dementia, it really does depend on the individual and the stage of dementia they're at.”